Something that comes up quite often in Childbirth Education is a Birth Plan- and the likelihood that things may not go as planned.
Life not going according to plan is a concept that is often joked about- and much easier to give advice on than take, when we’re in the hot seat... When its OUR plan that isn't going as we envisioned, what do we do? Or, even earlier than the plan, how do we manage expectations and discuss the many different options and outcomes that exist with an open mind?
One thing we hear quite a bit is “we definitely don’t want __x___.” Well, hate to be the bearer of bad news but it’s difficult to bet on “definitely” in a birth! We prefer to shift the language to “we prefer x” or, “we’d only like x if medically necessary.” By exchanging "DON'T" with "UNLESS" or "MUST" with "PREFER", we leave space for the inevitable....LIFE- to unfold.
Hopefully it goes without saying that advocating for what you want is always important. And voicing your wants and needs is critical! Our point is to keep an open mind to the natural unknown in childbirth...and beyond! Birth has its own plan and our babies are brilliant. They know how to exit our body and though we may have our own preferences and hopes, it’s imperative to go inward, listen to our body and intuition, and go with it. We like to focus on this heavily in Childbirth Education! Though we cover all of the Anatomy, Physiology, Comfort Measurements, and more, the most important piece of Childbirth and Parenthood is learning to trust yourself. Staying open to creating plans as information unfolds is a massive piece of trusting your own mind and body.
Resisting our own messages and holding a firm line on the “I could never” front only holds us back from finding peace with the new plan. If you are someone who knows that switching gears to a new route is a challenge, consider hiring a doula for your next birth or postpartum experience! We’re pros at it- and we’ll support you with our whole heart. :)