Why I Hate “Self Care”

“Self care” is so hot right now. Just saying that phrase gets us a bit nauseous. What

does it even mean? Maybe we’re projecting because we don’t “practice” it, or feel

like we have time to practice it. But really, its seems like all the top executives from

all the leisure activities people love, got together and said, ‘we need to make these

already expensive and luxurious items super elusive and market them to parents

who have ZERO time do to them- and make them feel bad about it.” Job well done!

It’s not that we don’t want to take a warm, Lavender Epsom salt bath wearing the

new Goop mud mask while sipping full moon crystal charged Berkey water from a

hand thrown ceramic mug we bought on our kid-free honeymoon last year - when

we take some “me time” in the middle of the afternoon… Because believe us, we

want to. Its just that, we can’t. And we are people who ‘comes from a place of Yes’ as

they say! But really, self-care, you are out of control. Your expectations of us are way

too high- borderline unattainable.

Before the new ‘self care’ term came about, it meant something to drink a hot cup of

coffee in the morning. Or wipe alone (after going to the bathroom with your 1 year

old on your lap and toddler sitting on her mini potty at your feet). Those were stolen

moments that translated to caring for yourself or being mindful of your sanity. Now,

unless we’re hiring a sitter to watch the kids so we can sit in the Himalayan Salt

Room after a Reiki session and sound therapy we’re not effectively taking care of

ourselves and therefore not doing right by our kids. Holy moly. Self care. Even

saying all this is making our heads spin.

And we are the worst offenders! We were talking to a friend at a playdate for one of

our youngest the other day and she was opening up to us about how exhausted she

is working and parenting. We heard ourselves say, “sounds like you really need to

practice some self care.” There it is, rearing its ugly head again! What does that even

mean? She gave us a knowing look like I offered her sage advice from the Dalai

Lama. Ah yes, Self Care. We’ll likely run into her at the next Aromatherapy for

Spiritual Awakening Kirtan…

Here are our tips for r e a l self care. Brace yourself…

1. Drink a cup of coffee, tea or warm water at some point before noon. Even if it

means you had to microwave it 1,2,3 times.

2. Set an intention to shower at least twice a week. Baby wipes do count for a last

minute fix during the week.

3. Fit in 1 Netflix binge at night after the kids are sleeping (if you are one of the lucky

ones)

4. Eat one spoonful of Cool-Whip straight from the container at least once a week

and don’t feel anything but joy about it.

5. Take a deep breath of fresh air when you step outside to get your mail.

6. Be gentle on yourself- we are all doing everything we can to raise wonderful,

functional children.


We promise to practice self care this week- Hey, we put on clean socks this morning

after cleaned up the dog poop from the rug and already had coffee…and its well

before noon. Self care for the win!

#birthdoula #birth #postpartumdoula #postpartum #beacondoula #newburghdoula #buffalodoula #hudsonvalleydoula #upstateny #selfcare #intention #mindfulness #parenthood #newparent

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